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For the first couple of years of my sobriety, one of my mainstay meetings was a noontime group that met daily. My drinking pattern toward the end had been to start drinking around noon and that meeting gave me a real sense of security. The couches were seedy, the room was dingy, the meeting was sometimes quite small, but it was home. Most of the regulars had less than a year, so sometimes the discussion focused more on problems than solutions, but there were a few people with three years or more who tried to keep us focused on living the A.A. way of life.
One day a newcomer showed up and sat in the corner, away from everyone else. He seemed a bit more fearful and apprehensive than the average newcomer. When the leader called on him to share, he said, “My name is Daniel and I’m an alcoholic.” He proceeded to talk about how the church he belonged to and the God he believed in strongly condemned homosexuals and that the fate of all homosexuals was eternal damnation. Such reference to sectarian religious doctrine and the expression of an opinion on an outside issue would be out of place in any A.A. meeting, but since this was a gay group, his comments were particularly inappropriate. As he continued to share along these lines, many group members became visibly uncomfortable, and some even got up and left. Our safe space had been violated.
Daniel continued to come to the meeting for the next few days and to share along these same lines. It created quite an uproar in the group; some regulars simply stopped attending, and others wanted to kick Daniel out. For some reason, his tirades didn’t bother me, but I was perplexed. Why was this man, who so obviously couldn’t tolerate gays, coming to this group? Was it because he was on some crusade to save us? And how should the group respond to him? I was one year sober at the time and didn’t yet have a good working knowledge of the Traditions, so I sat on the sidelines and observed as a couple of those three-year-plus members, one of whom was my sponsor, took control of the situation.

They began to spend some time after the meeting talking with Daniel. They’d noticed something in him that perhaps the rest of us had missed–that he desperately wanted to stay sober. Mixed in with his anti-gay message, he talked about the same things all newcomers talk about–how alcohol had ruined his life, how hard it was to stay away from the first drink, and how he had come to A.A. for help. My sponsor and the others told Daniel that he was welcome at our meeting, but that he needed to keep his sharing focused on his alcoholism rather than on his attitudes toward gays. They did this gently but firmly. And they asked him questions about his particular case. As they learned more about Daniel, they discovered something that many of us had begun to suspect. Daniel was one who suffered from grave emotional and mental disorders, and part of his problem was a learning disability. He had only learned one bus route, and the only meeting place that he knew on that bus route was ours. He wasn’t coming to our meeting with the express purpose of disrupting it and saving us homosexuals from ourselves. He was coming to our meeting because it was the only one he knew how to get to, and he wanted sobriety so badly that he was willing to sit in a room full of people he had been taught to hate and fear in order to hear the message of A.A.. Here was a man who was truly willing to go to any lengths to stay sober.

Once my sponsor and the others discovered Daniel’s problem they knew exactly what to do. They got some bus schedules and a meeting schedule. They selected a meeting place nearby that had a number of mainstream meetings every day and plotted out the route and the transfers that Daniel would need to take to get to these meetings. And they went with him the first time to make sure he didn’t get lost. They never tried to lecture him or to change his beliefs. They simply treated him like they would any other newcomer who needed some extra guidance.
I don’t know what became of Daniel, but I do know that I learned a lot about the Traditions from watching the way in which our more experienced members responded to this situation. I learned that even though we were a special interest group, we were first and foremost an A.A. group, whose primary purpose was to carry the message of A.A. to this alcoholic, who so desperately wanted it. I learned that because the only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking, no group has the right to kick someone out of a meeting, and because of the First Tradition the group must respond to a member who is disruptive or else the unity of the group could suffer. We were fortunate to have some members who knew how to respond to this disruption in the full spirit of our First Tradition: A.A. must continue to live or most of us will surely die. Hence, our common welfare comes first. But individual welfare follows close afterward.
AAGrapevine, November 1996

On a plane bound for New York, the flight attendant approached a inebriated passenger sitting in the first class section and requested that he move to economy since he did not have a first class ticket. The man replied, “I’m going to G.S.O. in New York to learn how to stay sober and I’m not moving.” Not wanting to argue with the passenger, the flight attendant asked the co-pilot to speak with him. She went to talk the passenger asking him to please move out of the first class section. Again, the fellow replied, “I’m going to G.S.O. in New York to learn how to stay sober and I’m not moving.” The co-pilot returned to the cockpit and asked the captain what she should do. The captain said, “I know how to get him to move.” He went to the first class section and whispered in the drunk’s ear. He immediately jumped up and ran to the economy section mumbling to himself, “Why didn’t anyone just say so?” Surprised, the flight attendant and the co-pilot asked the captain what he said to the fellow that finally convinced him to move from his seat. He said, “I told him the first class section wasn’t going to New York.”
ASAP
Always Say A Prayer
By archie! AA menber

This leaflet is intended for people approaching Alcoholics Anonymous (A. A.) for the first time.

In it we have tried to answer the questions most frequently in the minds of newcomers - the questions which were in our minds when we first approached the Fellowship.

Am I an alcoholic?

If you repeatedly drink more than you intend or want to, if you get into trouble, or if you have memory lapses when you drink, you may be an alcoholic. Only you can decide. No one in A. A. will tell you whether you are or not.

What can I do if I am worried about my drinking?

You can seek help. Alcoholics Anonymous can help.

What is Alcoholics Anonymous?

We are a Fellowship of men and women who have lost the ability to control our drinking and have found ourselves in various kinds of trouble as a result of drinking. We attempt - most of us successfully - to create a satisfying way of life without alcohol. For this we find we need the help and support of other alcoholics in A.A.

If I go to an A. A. meeting, does that commit me to anything?

No. A. A. does not keep membership files, or attendance records. You do not have to reveal anything about yourself. No one will bother you if you don’t want to come back

What happens if I meet people I know in A. A.?

They will be there for the same reason you are there. They will not disclose your identity to outsiders. At A. A. you retain as much anonymity as you wish. That is one of the reasons we call ourselves Alcoholics Anonymous.

What happens at an A.A. meeting?
An A. A. meeting may take one of several forms, but at any meeting you will find alcoholics talking about what drinking did to their lives and personalities, what actions they took to help themselves, and how they are living their lives today.

How can this help me with my drinking problem?

We in A.A. know what it is like to be addicted to alcohol, and to be unable to keep promises made to others and to ourselves that we will stop drinking. We are not professional therapists. Our only qualification for helping others to recover from alcoholism is that we have stopped drinking ourselves, but problem drinkers coming to us know that recovery is possible because they see people who have done it.

Why do A. A.’s keep on going to meetings after they are cured?
We in A. A believe there is no such thing as a cure for alcoholism. We can never return to normal drinking, and our ability to stay away from alcohol depends on maintaining our physical, mental, and spiritual health. This we can achieve by going to meetings regularly and putting into practice what we learn there. In addition, we find it helps us to stay sober if we help other alcoholics.

How do I join A.A.?
You are an A.A. member if and when you say so, The only requirement for A. A. membership is a desire to stop drinking, and many of us were not very wholehearted about that when we first approached A.A.

How much does A. A. membership cost?
There are no dues or fees for A.A. membership. An A. A. group will usually have a collection during the meeting to cover expenses, such as rent, coffee, etc., aand to this all members are free to contribute as much or as little as they wish.

Is A.A. a religious organization?

No. Nor is it allied with any religious organization.

There’s a lot of talk about God, though, isn’t there?

The majority of A. A. members believe that we have found the solution to our drinking problem not through individual willpower, but through a power greater than ourselves. However, everyone defines this power as he or she wishes. Many people call it God, others think it is the A.A. group, still others don’t believe in it at all. There is room in A. A. for people of all shades of belief and nonbelief.

Can I bring my family to an A.A. meeting?

Family members or close friends are welcome at “Open” A.A. meetings. Discuss this with your local contact.

What advice do you give new members?

In our experience, the people who recover in A.A.
are those who:

(a) stay away from the first drink;

(b) attend A.A. meetings regularly;

(c) seek out the people in A.A. who have successfully stayed sober for some time;

(d) try to put into practice the A.A. program of
recovery.

How can I contact A.A.?
Look for Alcoholics Anonymous in your local telephone directory. Theses telephones are answered by A.A. volunteers who will be happy to answer your questions, or put you in touch with those who can. If there is no A.A. telephone service close to you, write or phone the A.A. General Service Office.

Remember that alcoholism is a progressive disease. Take it seriously, even if you feel you are only in the early stages of the illness. Alcoholism kills people. If you are an alcoholic, and if you continue to drink, in time you will get worse.

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