AA recovery.ca

To us alcoholics, I believe that “peace of mind” is the paramount
prerequisite to continued sobriety. During our drinking years, we did
not, and could not enjoy “peace of mind.” In the battle for sobriety,
we have four definite enemies of “peace of mind” which require
constant daily combat.

LYING is the enemy No. 1 of “peace of mind” and in connection with all
alcoholics. Lying represents one of the chief germs of the disease,
because we lied about everything when in most cases the truth would
have been better; we lied to get out of the house, on the pretext of
going to the store for groceries, but what we really wanted was
another drink. We lied about where we had been, a last minute meeting
had been called after business hours, which was the cause of our being
late for dinner, but the meeting was actually with the bartender. We
lied about money matters to our wives in order to hold out a few extra
dollars for what we believed our much needed stimulant. Therefore
under such prevarication it is understandable that we had no “peace of
mind.”

RESENTMENT is enemy No. 2 of “peace of mind” because with a heart full
of bitterness, jealousy and resentment, there is certainly no “peace
of mind.” We hated our neighbor because he was a pious, church-going,
prohibitioner, who had on numerous occasions seen us come home in a
condition much the worse for liquor, and maybe he had even offered
words of condolence to our wives, which heaped more searing coals upon
our fire of hate. We resented with fervor, and a sickening jealousy,
the successes of our superiors, even the promotion of our associates,
and sometimes said to ourselves, “Why didn’t I get that promotion
instead of him?” and immediately set out to drown what we felt to be
our troubles. And so, living in the cloak of resentment, it is again
quite understandable that we had no “peace of mind.”

INTOLERANCE is enemy No. 3 of “peace of mind.” It is the inability of
an individual to cope with the smallest irritation. If we should make
an error we excuse ourselves with the thought that it is human nature
to err, but just let some one else make a comparable error and what
happens? You know, we blow up –and did we make any effort to help the
erring person? No! We were intolerant and couldn’t understand how any
one could be so dumb, and if we happened to be in a position of
authority, we were more than likely to let off our super dynamic,
egocentric, self-esteemed, arrogant, alcoholic steam, by firing the
poor erring individual, not giving two hoots what happened to him or
his family. So here again, we had no “peace of mind.”

SELFISHNESS is enemy No. 4 of “peace of mind.” Looking back, how many
times have the children gone to bed without milk, simply because the
alcoholic needed the last 50 cents in the house for a half pint of
“rot gut?” How many times have the lights been cut off, the gas cut
off, credit at the grocery discontinued, and many other necessities of
life been denied our families, because of that unquenchable thirst of
selfishness? In short, every alcoholic, at some time during his
drinking career has gone through this nightmare, and could any one
mean to say that we could have “peace of mind” under these conditions?

There are many more enemies of “peace of mind”, but these four seem to
be the outstanding. Some readers might want to change their
arrangement, but regardless of arrangement, we must agree, they are
all important enemies of “peace of mind”: 1. LYING: 2. RESENTMENT: 3.
INTOLERANCE: 4. SELFISHNESS.

Perhaps as a new-member of A.A. you may ask, “What do the enemies of
‘peace of mind’ have to do with my sobriety? After all, the only thing
I am interested in right now is sobriety.”

This is a very natural, and very good question, and helps firmly to
establish the fact, even more solidly, that you are definitely an
alcoholic! . . . Without “peace of mind” we will not now, and never
experience continued sobriety. We will not now, and never experience
“peace of mind” until we start getting rid of the enemies of “peace of
mind.”

How are we to eradicate these enemies?

TRUTH. Let us substitute truth for lying. This is a lethal weapon
against our enemy No. 1, and truth is the first step in obtaining, and
retaining “peace of mind.” Now we are able to face our fellow-man, our
neighbor, our friend, our loved ones, with an open heart and mind. We
have nothing to cover up, or hide, behind the enemy of “peace of mind”
any longer. We are free once more, and have also gained in self-
respect and self-confidence, because now we are on the first step to
genuine “peace of mind.”

LOVE, RESPECT, PRIDE (in the success of others). These we must
substitute for resentment. America is the land of the free and
remember, our neighbor is privileged to be a church-goer, a
prohibitioner, or anything else he desires, because he is to be
respected. An expression of pride at the successes of our superiors,
or associates, will always reflect most favorably upon the expressor.
How many times have we held resentment for the ones we love the most?
But that was because they didn’t understand our illness and were
constantly attempting to make us quit drinking.

Do you want to see the wife brighten up, and bend over backward to do
things for you? Then substitute love for that resentment. The very
small expression of appreciation toward a loved one will change a
clouded picture to one of sunshine and brightness. Just a word of
praise makes the little wife feel a whole lot more like doing the very
things she always has, and always will do for us. This game of
substituting love for resentment works both ways, girls, so let’s not
have it a one sided affair. Remember, the old man likes to hear words
of praise and encouragement, too. And now we have taken our second
step toward “peace of mind”.

TOLERANCE. We shall substitute this for intolerance. Courtesy,
kindness, and helpfulness toward others. The small irritations which
once caused us to be intolerant are merely problems of the other
fellow. We may be able to help him by exercising patience and
tolerance. In so doing we are building better and stronger foundations
for our own character thus making the ease with which we maintain our
sobriety, a pillar of strength in our very lives. At this point, being
tolerant does not mean that we turn into spineless, wishy-washy jelly
fish. We must season tolerance with a fixed determination of firmness.
Here is a very fine line which must be guarded against crossing
because a fixed determination of firmness unseasoned with tolerance
can surely back-fire into critical narrow-mindedness. The success of
your tolerance in obtaining, and maintaining “peace of mind” is a big
factor in the maintaining of sobriety.

UNSELFISHNESS. Here substituted for selfishness, which involves first
the practice of giving, and doing for others: your fellow man, your
friends, neighbors and family. It is even possible to experience a
spiritual awakening, mentioned in our A.A. 12 steps, in the practice
of unselfishness, because you will recall that, “It is more blessed to
give than to receive.” And now that we are living in a new world of
truth, love, tolerance, and unselfishness, we find it quite pleasant
to be able to meet each new day, and the problems it presents, because
we have a new and better understanding of normal life and a sane and
sober capability to cope with any and all conditions that arise.

There is only one road to joy, happiness, success, prosperity, and
“peace of mind” (for the alcoholic) and that is sobriety. If you
really want sobriety more than anything else in this world, you can
have it and it doesn’t cost you one cent. Alcoholics Anonymous stands
ready and willing to teach you, and guide you along this road to joy,
happiness, success, prosperity, and “peace of mind”.

Don G.
Florida

I Believe…
That just because two people argue, that
doesn’t mean they don’t love each other.
And just because they don’t argue, that
doesn’t mean they do love each other..

I Believe…
That sometimes when I’m angry
I have the right to be angry,
but that doesn’t give me the right to be cruel.

I Believe…
That we don’t have to change friends if
we understand that friends change.

I Believe…
That no matter how good a friend is,
they’re going to hurt you every once in a while
and you must forgive them for that.

I Believe…
That true friendship continues to grow,
even over the longest distance.
Same goes for true love.

I Believe…
That you can do something in an instant
that will give you heartache for life.

I Believe…
That it’s taking me a long time
to become the person I want to be.

I Believe…
That you should always leave loved ones with
loving words. It may be the last time you see them.

I Believe…
That you can keep going long after
you think you can’t.

I Believe…
That we are responsible for what
we do, no matter how we feel.

I Believe…
That either you control your
attitude or it controls you.

I Believe…
That heroes are the people who do what
has to be done when it needs to be done,
regardless of the consequences.

I Believe…
That money is a lousy way of keeping score.

I Believe…
That my best friend and I can do anything,
or nothing, and have the best time.

I Believe….
That sometimes the people you expect to kick you
when you’re down will be the ones to help you get back up.

I Believe…
That maturity has more to do with what types of experiences
you’ve had, and what you’ve learned from them…
and less to do with how many birthdays you’ve celebrated.

I Believe…
That it isn’t always enough to be forgiven by others.
Sometimes, you have to learn to forgive yourself.

I Believe…
That no matter how bad your heart is broken
the world doesn’t stop for your grief.

I Believe…
That our background and circumstances
may have influenced who we are,
but we are responsible for who we become.

I Believe…
That you shouldn’t be so eager to find
out a secret. It could change your life forever.

I Believe…
Two people can look at the exact same
thing and see something totally different…

I Believe…
That your life can be changed in a matter of
hours by people who don’t even know you.

I Believe…
That even when you think you have no more to give, if
a friend cries out to you…you will find the strength to help.

I Believe…
That credentials on the wall
do not make you a decent human being.

I Believe…
That the people you care about most in life
are taken from you too soon.

I Believe…
That you should send this to all of the
people that you believe in. I just did.

The happiest of people don’t necessarily have the best of
everything;
they just make the most of everything.

Thank you to all the wonderful people
who help us throughout the journey of life!

passing this on - author unknown

I have been kind of a hot head of a person for many years ,to be honest ever since I can remember. My wife and I have broken out not just over my anger ,there were a number of thing going on. I do not want to talk about that to much..

I have been practicing being assertive with people around me I am finding it kind of scary .I know what I want to happen for myself but I find it hard to ask .It feel like I am doing something wrong ,and fear set in very quickly .I know I must keep doing this even if feel so odd for me to do.

I will tell you a little story. I have hired a lawyer to help me settle my affairs with my ex-wife .I want to buy a house in February 2010 .I feel fear to ask a lawyer one who I am paying 300 per hour if it would be ok for me go threw with house deal. He told me want to do it all at once ,but that will take to long .He will be on holiday to Jan 5 2010.All other people wants and need always come before mine. I hope I make some sense to you all.

What I am trying to say I must try the best I can to let people know How I feel about thing no matter what they will think of me. Plus without hurting other involved

Written By Regina Brett, 90 years old, of The Plain Dealer, Cleveland , Ohio.

“To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me. It is the most-requested column I’ve ever written”

My odometer rolled over to 90 in August, so here is the column once more:

1. Life isn’t fair, but it’s still good.

2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.

3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.

4. Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch.

5.. Pay off your credit cards every month.

6. You don’t have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

7. Cry with someone. It’s more healing than crying alone.

8. It’s OK to get angry with God. He can take it.

9. Save for retirement starting with your first pay cheque.

10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.

11. Make peace with your past so it won’t screw up the present.

12. It’s OK to let your children see you cry.

13. Don’t compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn’t be in it.

15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don’t worry; God never blinks.

16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.

17. Get rid of anything that isn’t useful, beautiful or joyful.

18. Whatever doesn’t kill you really does make you stronger.

19. It’s never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else

20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don’t take no for an answer.

21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don’t save it for a special occasion. Today is special.

22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.

23. Be eccentric now. Don’t wait for old age to wear purple.

24. The most important sex organ is the brain.

25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.

26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words ‘In five years, will this matter?’

27. Always choose life.

28. Forgive everyone everything.

29. What other people think of you is none of your business.

30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.

31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

32. Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

33. Believe in miracles.

34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn’t do.

35. Don’t audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.

36. Growing old beats the alternative — dying young.

37. Your children get only one childhood.

38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.

39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.

40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else’s, we’d grab ours back.

41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.

42. The best is yet to come…

43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

44. Yield.

45. Life isn’t tied with a bow, but it’s still a gift.”

Its estimated 93% won’t read this weekly. If you are one of the 7% who will, give it to a friend with the title ‘7% List’.

I’m in the 7%.

When a person is in treatment for alcohol, methamphetamine or any other substance, receiving therapy and counseling is very important to recovery. Besides the dual-diagnosing aspect, many addicts have low self-esteem and feel very poorly about themselves. A lack of confidence combined with self-hatred can make the recovery process difficult. One of the things that individual and group therapy do to help those in recovery is help the addict to try to understand why she started to use in the first place. Often there is a combination of poor self-esteem and several other factors.

By increasing a person’s self-worth, the addict will begin to see hope instead of feeling despair. The guilt that is felt will start to go away and the addict will have a better chance at sobriety outside of treatment. Many studies have found that even young children, 11 years old, have a greater chance of using drugs if they have poor self-esteem. Being unhappy with oneself can lead to many problem and drug abuse and addiction is one of the main ones.

Increasing the self-esteem of users will help them in their battle against addiction. If the user feels that he or she can stay sober, the chances of success increase.