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I have not wrote here for many months now .So I am going to start now .well here goes .I am on my own now my wife has left me after trying everything I could humanly possible to keep my marriage together .
I have went through many different feeling over the last ten months .I bought a new home in Kanata On Canada .I live with two roommate to offset the cost s of the home.
I have been feel very depress over last three months .I feel that the breakdown of the marriage was all my fault, I know it take two to build a marriage and two to break it up , I still feel bad about all this.
I the good side of all this that I have not taken a drink thank you all in AA

In a discussion about AA’s approach to prayer and meditation, a
question was raised at an Open Meeting this week by a person I’d never
seen before: What’s the difference between Prayer and Wishful
Thinking? That is, how does prayer to a higher power, or God as you
understand Him, differ from consciously desiring a specific outcome
and being prepared for never seeing it come to pass? Apparently, for
this person, an unsucessful outcome allows one to lay the burden of
“responsiblity” at the feet of the divine, and the other forces
individuals to absorb the butden, something they felt people are not
inclined to do. I had no ready answers for the person.

Blessings

I would like to take this time to wish all my reader of AArecovery.ca a very merry sober Christmas. My God Bless you and may all your dreams come true.
Terry

1. Your sponsor isn’t all that interested in the “reasons” you drank.

2. Your therapist thinks your root problem is your lack of
self-esteem, negative self-image, and your poor self-concept. Your
sponsor thinks your problem is self.

3. Your therapist wants you to pamper your “inner child.” Your sponsor
thinks it ought to be spanked.

4. Your sponsor thinks your inventory should be about you, not your parents.

5. Speaking of your parents, your sponsor tells you not to confront
them, but to make amends to them.

6. The only time your sponsor uses the word “closure” is before the
word “mouth.” (I LOVE THAT ONE)

7.Your sponsor thinks “boundaries” are things you need to take down
not build up.

8. Your therapist wants you to love yourself first; your sponsor wants
you to love others first.

9.Your therapist prescribes caretaking and medication. Your sponsor
prescribes prayer making and meditation.

10.Your sponsor thinks “anger management skills” are numbered 1 thru 12.

11. Now that you haven’t had a drink in six months, your therapist
thinks you should make a list of your goals and objectives for the
next five years, starting with finishing up that college degree. Your
sponsor thinks you should start today by cleaning the coffeepots and
helping him carry a heavy box of literature to the jail.

12. Your sponsor won’t lose his license to practice if he talks about God.

My comment terry

I have been in Therapy for a number of year and I can that I have gotten a lot out of it. Most of the therapist were pretty good some not. The one I am seeing now has help me a whole lot.
The same thing is to be said about AA sponsor some good some bad. But for people in AA who think we have the only way to recovery are very closed mind .
I feel is you find your peace in a church talking to your sponsor, therapist, or the person living next door . That ok with me .

It has been a while since I post anything on my blog. Will here we go my wife and I have end thing about two month ago. I am surprised that this change did not make me go crazy .I thought that it would be a hole lot harder. I have took some time off work ,just to help me get my act together again, this has help a lot. I go to 2 to three meeting each week talk to people in recovery each day. I still love her and wish this would not of happen but it did and I must move on ,even if I do not agree with the way things work out.
Terry
.

For instance when I ask God for a particular character defect to be
removed,
I seem to find myself in situations that bring that defect to the
surface more readily.

I am concentrating in my daily prayer and meditation at the moment on
becoming more loving and tolerant of others - mmmm
This is because of late my irritation level has been at an all time
low and I am uncomfortable with my behaviour and attitude at the
moment in this area.

Seems that since I have started to focus on this particular defect,
the world and everyone in it is doing their level best to get up my
nose, under my skin and generally annoy me.

God does have a sense of humour, of that I’m sure…….

When I sober up, about 14 years ago I started a lengthy court battle with my ex-wife. The reason was she would not let me see my children .The break up was the worst thing I have go thought in my early years of recovery .The whole thing keep me very sick and my recovery was not on firm footing for many years .The fighting in court over access to see the children was totally nuts .The name of my children are Jamie who is 14 and Sarah who is 17 .So for the last 8 years of my life I have not laid eye on my children the reason are too many to speak about .

So about week ago my step son Jesses call me up out of the blue and said to me that he was going to set up a meeting to see my two kids. I really did not believe it my ex still does like it when I speak to my to her. So I saw my two kids and it went very well. My son Jamie will be come over this weekend to spend some more time with me and my wife.
Things do change in god time.
Terry

My sobriety seems to be ok for today. I spoke at a AA meeting on Sunday night it did me a lot of good .It is nice to speak, because it reminds me where I have come from .I just sitting watching TV and bored as hell so why not write an update for my blog. The anger problem I was having is still with but I feel better about thing and with the way things are going one day at time.
I have not been going to my home group lately do to working night that suck .But that all will be change soon .I am a bus driver for OC transpo for the city of Ottawa and we get to change the times that we work four time a year .I must get to more meeting 1to 2 is just not working feeling alone and uneasy about life.
I have been praying a lot .I have been asking if god could help me when dealing with money problems .My wife is older than me and her health is not good ,she not dying , nothing like that. But I fear that I will not be able to handle things money wise. You see my wife is the bread winner in my house. So I have been asking God to help with this fear .So far nothing? I guess being sober will have to do for.

See you all later Terry wrote

My life in the last couple of years have had a lot of lost in it, that made me feel pretty bad about life in general .I lost my catering business about four years ago ,I gave it my all. The home I had sold it because of money problem. And my wife and I were on the way out. Looking back now there Was a lot going on, but though the whole thing I did not drink and thing got pretty crazy .It is not like one thing was big, but the negative stuff just keep going on and on. I was very unhappy from a long time.
I have starting to feel more grateful about things I have and not what I had in the pass . I feel that my life is going well right at this time that I am right this post to all of you .My faith in god is coming back slowly .My relationship with my wife is also getting better over time .
I am still in talk therapy and will remain for some time to work out some childhood issue .My sobriety was a little rocky ,I keep going to meeting talking to AA member to their ears fell off you know what I mean.

The slogan one at a time means a lot to me
God bless you all
Terry worte

I have been having the greatest couple days; I had in the lasted couple of weeks. I have not been taking myself so serious. I have been letting go more I think and trying to accept myself for who I really am.
The AA program will help me stay sober that is not question for me it really works if you work it. But I have had some problem with the pasted that I could not get my head around mainly in the childhood area .I have seek help outside the program to take a look at what and why are life little thing seen hard for me to deal with .My self esteem if very low at this time in my life. I want to work on that right away.

My childhood was pretty crazy and I have never really spoken to anyone about it, but now I will face thing one day at a time.

God bless you all
Terry worte