AA recovery.ca

One day at a time

recover — Thu, 26 Aug 2010 23:39:04 +0000

I have not wrote here for many months now .So I am going to start now .well here goes .I am on my own now my wife has left me after trying everything I could humanly possible to keep my marriage together .
I have went through many different feeling over the last ten months .I bought a new home in Kanata On Canada .I live with two roommate to offset the cost s of the home.
I have been feel very depress over last three months .I feel that the breakdown of the marriage was all my fault, I know it take two to build a marriage and two to break it up , I still feel bad about all this.
I the good side of all this that I have not taken a drink thank you all in AA

LOVE AND TOLERANCE

recover — Sun, 09 May 2010 20:52:14 +0000

For the first couple of years of my sobriety, one of my mainstay meetings was a noontime group that met daily. My drinking pattern toward the end had been to start drinking around noon and that meeting gave me a real sense of security. The couches were seedy, the room was dingy, the meeting was sometimes quite small, but it was home. Most of the regulars had less than a year, so sometimes the discussion focused more on problems than solutions, but there were a few people with three years or more who tried to keep us focused on living the A.A. way of life.
One day a newcomer showed up and sat in the corner, away from everyone else. He seemed a bit more fearful and apprehensive than the average newcomer. When the leader called on him to share, he said, “My name is Daniel and I’m an alcoholic.” He proceeded to talk about how the church he belonged to and the God he believed in strongly condemned homosexuals and that the fate of all homosexuals was eternal damnation. Such reference to sectarian religious doctrine and the expression of an opinion on an outside issue would be out of place in any A.A. meeting, but since this was a gay group, his comments were particularly inappropriate. As he continued to share along these lines, many group members became visibly uncomfortable, and some even got up and left. Our safe space had been violated.
Daniel continued to come to the meeting for the next few days and to share along these same lines. It created quite an uproar in the group; some regulars simply stopped attending, and others wanted to kick Daniel out. For some reason, his tirades didn’t bother me, but I was perplexed. Why was this man, who so obviously couldn’t tolerate gays, coming to this group? Was it because he was on some crusade to save us? And how should the group respond to him? I was one year sober at the time and didn’t yet have a good working knowledge of the Traditions, so I sat on the sidelines and observed as a couple of those three-year-plus members, one of whom was my sponsor, took control of the situation.

They began to spend some time after the meeting talking with Daniel. They’d noticed something in him that perhaps the rest of us had missed–that he desperately wanted to stay sober. Mixed in with his anti-gay message, he talked about the same things all newcomers talk about–how alcohol had ruined his life, how hard it was to stay away from the first drink, and how he had come to A.A. for help. My sponsor and the others told Daniel that he was welcome at our meeting, but that he needed to keep his sharing focused on his alcoholism rather than on his attitudes toward gays. They did this gently but firmly. And they asked him questions about his particular case. As they learned more about Daniel, they discovered something that many of us had begun to suspect. Daniel was one who suffered from grave emotional and mental disorders, and part of his problem was a learning disability. He had only learned one bus route, and the only meeting place that he knew on that bus route was ours. He wasn’t coming to our meeting with the express purpose of disrupting it and saving us homosexuals from ourselves. He was coming to our meeting because it was the only one he knew how to get to, and he wanted sobriety so badly that he was willing to sit in a room full of people he had been taught to hate and fear in order to hear the message of A.A.. Here was a man who was truly willing to go to any lengths to stay sober.

Once my sponsor and the others discovered Daniel’s problem they knew exactly what to do. They got some bus schedules and a meeting schedule. They selected a meeting place nearby that had a number of mainstream meetings every day and plotted out the route and the transfers that Daniel would need to take to get to these meetings. And they went with him the first time to make sure he didn’t get lost. They never tried to lecture him or to change his beliefs. They simply treated him like they would any other newcomer who needed some extra guidance.
I don’t know what became of Daniel, but I do know that I learned a lot about the Traditions from watching the way in which our more experienced members responded to this situation. I learned that even though we were a special interest group, we were first and foremost an A.A. group, whose primary purpose was to carry the message of A.A. to this alcoholic, who so desperately wanted it. I learned that because the only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking, no group has the right to kick someone out of a meeting, and because of the First Tradition the group must respond to a member who is disruptive or else the unity of the group could suffer. We were fortunate to have some members who knew how to respond to this disruption in the full spirit of our First Tradition: A.A. must continue to live or most of us will surely die. Hence, our common welfare comes first. But individual welfare follows close afterward.
AAGrapevine, November 1996

On a plane bound for New York, the flight attendant approached a inebriated passenger sitting in the first class section and requested that he move to economy since he did not have a first class ticket. The man replied, “I’m going to G.S.O. in New York to learn how to stay sober and I’m not moving.” Not wanting to argue with the passenger, the flight attendant asked the co-pilot to speak with him. She went to talk the passenger asking him to please move out of the first class section. Again, the fellow replied, “I’m going to G.S.O. in New York to learn how to stay sober and I’m not moving.” The co-pilot returned to the cockpit and asked the captain what she should do. The captain said, “I know how to get him to move.” He went to the first class section and whispered in the drunk’s ear. He immediately jumped up and ran to the economy section mumbling to himself, “Why didn’t anyone just say so?” Surprised, the flight attendant and the co-pilot asked the captain what he said to the fellow that finally convinced him to move from his seat. He said, “I told him the first class section wasn’t going to New York.”
ASAP
Always Say A Prayer
By archie! AA menber

recover — Sun, 25 Apr 2010 01:57:30 +0000

Creator has entered

recover — Sun, 25 Apr 2010 01:56:50 +0000

The central fact of our lives today is that our Creator has entered
our hearts and lives in a way that is miraculous. He has commenced to
accomplished those things for us which we could never do for
ourselves.

AA page 25
I know that this is a reality in my life because I have been enabled
to remain sober. Having said that I have both a need and a desire to
grow in faith and trust. God comes to me in the rooms though other
members of the Fellowship
Shalom Bill

recover — Thu, 25 Mar 2010 16:42:20 +0000

Grapevine - What Are the Enemies of Peace of Mind? - 1946

recover — Thu, 25 Mar 2010 16:40:56 +0000

To us alcoholics, I believe that “peace of mind” is the paramount
prerequisite to continued sobriety. During our drinking years, we did
not, and could not enjoy “peace of mind.” In the battle for sobriety,
we have four definite enemies of “peace of mind” which require
constant daily combat.

LYING is the enemy No. 1 of “peace of mind” and in connection with all
alcoholics. Lying represents one of the chief germs of the disease,
because we lied about everything when in most cases the truth would
have been better; we lied to get out of the house, on the pretext of
going to the store for groceries, but what we really wanted was
another drink. We lied about where we had been, a last minute meeting
had been called after business hours, which was the cause of our being
late for dinner, but the meeting was actually with the bartender. We
lied about money matters to our wives in order to hold out a few extra
dollars for what we believed our much needed stimulant. Therefore
under such prevarication it is understandable that we had no “peace of
mind.”

RESENTMENT is enemy No. 2 of “peace of mind” because with a heart full
of bitterness, jealousy and resentment, there is certainly no “peace
of mind.” We hated our neighbor because he was a pious, church-going,
prohibitioner, who had on numerous occasions seen us come home in a
condition much the worse for liquor, and maybe he had even offered
words of condolence to our wives, which heaped more searing coals upon
our fire of hate. We resented with fervor, and a sickening jealousy,
the successes of our superiors, even the promotion of our associates,
and sometimes said to ourselves, “Why didn’t I get that promotion
instead of him?” and immediately set out to drown what we felt to be
our troubles. And so, living in the cloak of resentment, it is again
quite understandable that we had no “peace of mind.”

INTOLERANCE is enemy No. 3 of “peace of mind.” It is the inability of
an individual to cope with the smallest irritation. If we should make
an error we excuse ourselves with the thought that it is human nature
to err, but just let some one else make a comparable error and what
happens? You know, we blow up –and did we make any effort to help the
erring person? No! We were intolerant and couldn’t understand how any
one could be so dumb, and if we happened to be in a position of
authority, we were more than likely to let off our super dynamic,
egocentric, self-esteemed, arrogant, alcoholic steam, by firing the
poor erring individual, not giving two hoots what happened to him or
his family. So here again, we had no “peace of mind.”

SELFISHNESS is enemy No. 4 of “peace of mind.” Looking back, how many
times have the children gone to bed without milk, simply because the
alcoholic needed the last 50 cents in the house for a half pint of
“rot gut?” How many times have the lights been cut off, the gas cut
off, credit at the grocery discontinued, and many other necessities of
life been denied our families, because of that unquenchable thirst of
selfishness? In short, every alcoholic, at some time during his
drinking career has gone through this nightmare, and could any one
mean to say that we could have “peace of mind” under these conditions?

There are many more enemies of “peace of mind”, but these four seem to
be the outstanding. Some readers might want to change their
arrangement, but regardless of arrangement, we must agree, they are
all important enemies of “peace of mind”: 1. LYING: 2. RESENTMENT: 3.
INTOLERANCE: 4. SELFISHNESS.

Perhaps as a new-member of A.A. you may ask, “What do the enemies of
‘peace of mind’ have to do with my sobriety? After all, the only thing
I am interested in right now is sobriety.”

This is a very natural, and very good question, and helps firmly to
establish the fact, even more solidly, that you are definitely an
alcoholic! . . . Without “peace of mind” we will not now, and never
experience continued sobriety. We will not now, and never experience
“peace of mind” until we start getting rid of the enemies of “peace of
mind.”

How are we to eradicate these enemies?

TRUTH. Let us substitute truth for lying. This is a lethal weapon
against our enemy No. 1, and truth is the first step in obtaining, and
retaining “peace of mind.” Now we are able to face our fellow-man, our
neighbor, our friend, our loved ones, with an open heart and mind. We
have nothing to cover up, or hide, behind the enemy of “peace of mind”
any longer. We are free once more, and have also gained in self-
respect and self-confidence, because now we are on the first step to
genuine “peace of mind.”

LOVE, RESPECT, PRIDE (in the success of others). These we must
substitute for resentment. America is the land of the free and
remember, our neighbor is privileged to be a church-goer, a
prohibitioner, or anything else he desires, because he is to be
respected. An expression of pride at the successes of our superiors,
or associates, will always reflect most favorably upon the expressor.
How many times have we held resentment for the ones we love the most?
But that was because they didn’t understand our illness and were
constantly attempting to make us quit drinking.

Do you want to see the wife brighten up, and bend over backward to do
things for you? Then substitute love for that resentment. The very
small expression of appreciation toward a loved one will change a
clouded picture to one of sunshine and brightness. Just a word of
praise makes the little wife feel a whole lot more like doing the very
things she always has, and always will do for us. This game of
substituting love for resentment works both ways, girls, so let’s not
have it a one sided affair. Remember, the old man likes to hear words
of praise and encouragement, too. And now we have taken our second
step toward “peace of mind”.

TOLERANCE. We shall substitute this for intolerance. Courtesy,
kindness, and helpfulness toward others. The small irritations which
once caused us to be intolerant are merely problems of the other
fellow. We may be able to help him by exercising patience and
tolerance. In so doing we are building better and stronger foundations
for our own character thus making the ease with which we maintain our
sobriety, a pillar of strength in our very lives. At this point, being
tolerant does not mean that we turn into spineless, wishy-washy jelly
fish. We must season tolerance with a fixed determination of firmness.
Here is a very fine line which must be guarded against crossing
because a fixed determination of firmness unseasoned with tolerance
can surely back-fire into critical narrow-mindedness. The success of
your tolerance in obtaining, and maintaining “peace of mind” is a big
factor in the maintaining of sobriety.

UNSELFISHNESS. Here substituted for selfishness, which involves first
the practice of giving, and doing for others: your fellow man, your
friends, neighbors and family. It is even possible to experience a
spiritual awakening, mentioned in our A.A. 12 steps, in the practice
of unselfishness, because you will recall that, “It is more blessed to
give than to receive.” And now that we are living in a new world of
truth, love, tolerance, and unselfishness, we find it quite pleasant
to be able to meet each new day, and the problems it presents, because
we have a new and better understanding of normal life and a sane and
sober capability to cope with any and all conditions that arise.

There is only one road to joy, happiness, success, prosperity, and
“peace of mind” (for the alcoholic) and that is sobriety. If you
really want sobriety more than anything else in this world, you can
have it and it doesn’t cost you one cent. Alcoholics Anonymous stands
ready and willing to teach you, and guide you along this road to joy,
happiness, success, prosperity, and “peace of mind”.

Don G.
Florida

Infallible Heartbeat

recover — Thu, 25 Mar 2010 15:46:27 +0000

Infallible Heartbeat
We need each other’s experience, strength, and hope,
Regardless of age and length of sobriety.
The saving grace of God doesn’t come like a bolt out of the blue.
It comes through, in, and from other suffering, as well as rescued, souls
Like you and me. I am happy to be part of a living and growing fellowship
With an infallible heartbeat. Divine power is the pulse of AA,
And it doesn’t change, no matter how errant and foolish we mortals be.
- Came To Believe . . ., p. 94

Thought to Ponder . . .
An open heart is never a lonely one.

Have you talked to God today, have you listened to Him today

recover — Thu, 18 Mar 2010 01:32:44 +0000

will leave the problem in place and give us the grace to deal with it.

THE ANT AND THE CONTACT LENS

Brenda was a young woman who was invited to go rock climbing. Although she was very scared, she went with her group to a tremendous granite cliff. In spite of her fear, she put on the gear, took hold of the rope, and started up the face of that rock. Well, she got to a ledge where she could take a breather. As she was hanging on there, the safety rope snapped against Brenda’s eye and knocked out her contact lens. Well, here she is, on a rock ledge, with 100’s of feet below her and 100’s of feet above her. Of course, she looked and looked and looked, hoping it had landed on the ledge, but it just wasn’t there. Here she was, far from home, her sight now blurry.

She was desperate and began to get upset, so she prayed to the Lord to help her to find it. When she got to the top, a friend examined her eye and her clothing for the lens, but there was no contact lens to be found. She sat down, despondent, with the rest of the party, waiting for the rest of them to make it up the face of the cliff. She looked out across range after range of mountains, thinking of that verse that says, “The eyes of the Lord run to and fro throughout the whole earth.” She thought, “Lord, You can see all these mountains. You know every stone and leaf, and You know exactly where my contact lens is, please help me.”

Finally, they walked down the trail to the bottom. At the bottom there was a new party of climbers just starting up the face of the cliff. One of them shouted out, “Hey, you guys! Anybody lose a contact lens?” Well, that would be startling enough, but you know why the climber saw it? An ant was moving slowly across the face of the rock, carrying it on its back.

Brenda’s father is a cartoonist. When she told him the incredible story of the ant, the prayer, and the contact lens, he drew a picture of an ant lugging that contact lens with the words, “Lord, I don’t know why You want me to carry this thing. I can’t eat it, and it’s awfully heavy. But if this is what You want me to do, I’ll carry it for You”.
It would probably do some of us good to occasionally say, “God, I don’t know why you want me to carry this load. I can see no good in it and it’s awfully heavy. But, if You want me to carry it, I will.”
Author unknown
ASAP
Always Say A Prayer

I Believe…

recover — Sat, 13 Feb 2010 13:04:38 +0000

I Believe…
That just because two people argue, that
doesn’t mean they don’t love each other.
And just because they don’t argue, that
doesn’t mean they do love each other..

I Believe…
That sometimes when I’m angry
I have the right to be angry,
but that doesn’t give me the right to be cruel.

I Believe…
That we don’t have to change friends if
we understand that friends change.

I Believe…
That no matter how good a friend is,
they’re going to hurt you every once in a while
and you must forgive them for that.

I Believe…
That true friendship continues to grow,
even over the longest distance.
Same goes for true love.

I Believe…
That you can do something in an instant
that will give you heartache for life.

I Believe…
That it’s taking me a long time
to become the person I want to be.

I Believe…
That you should always leave loved ones with
loving words. It may be the last time you see them.

I Believe…
That you can keep going long after
you think you can’t.

I Believe…
That we are responsible for what
we do, no matter how we feel.

I Believe…
That either you control your
attitude or it controls you.

I Believe…
That heroes are the people who do what
has to be done when it needs to be done,
regardless of the consequences.

I Believe…
That money is a lousy way of keeping score.

I Believe…
That my best friend and I can do anything,
or nothing, and have the best time.

I Believe….
That sometimes the people you expect to kick you
when you’re down will be the ones to help you get back up.

I Believe…
That maturity has more to do with what types of experiences
you’ve had, and what you’ve learned from them…
and less to do with how many birthdays you’ve celebrated.

I Believe…
That it isn’t always enough to be forgiven by others.
Sometimes, you have to learn to forgive yourself.

I Believe…
That no matter how bad your heart is broken
the world doesn’t stop for your grief.

I Believe…
That our background and circumstances
may have influenced who we are,
but we are responsible for who we become.

I Believe…
That you shouldn’t be so eager to find
out a secret. It could change your life forever.

I Believe…
Two people can look at the exact same
thing and see something totally different…

I Believe…
That your life can be changed in a matter of
hours by people who don’t even know you.

I Believe…
That even when you think you have no more to give, if
a friend cries out to you…you will find the strength to help.

I Believe…
That credentials on the wall
do not make you a decent human being.

I Believe…
That the people you care about most in life
are taken from you too soon.

I Believe…
That you should send this to all of the
people that you believe in. I just did.

The happiest of people don’t necessarily have the best of
everything;
they just make the most of everything.

Thank you to all the wonderful people
who help us throughout the journey of life!

passing this on - author unknown

recover — Sun, 24 Jan 2010 23:04:41 +0000